| January 2008 - December 2008 |
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May 11, 2008
"Let's imagine that you are thirty-three years old and I ask you to look back at every complicated and challenging skill that you have learned in your life. This might involve learning a sport, learning a language, or mastering a new subject. Were there any failures or frustrations along the way? There must have been many times that you felt frustrated and perhaps even felt like giving up, but you persisted anyway. You may think that if something does not work out, then you are finished. I view it as you have just begun."
- Robert L. Leahy, "The Worry Cure"
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| January 2007 - December 2007 |
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Oct. 26, 2007
"The truth is that it’s what we say to ourselves in response to any particular situation that mainly determines our mood and feelings. Often we say it so quickly and automatically that we don’t even notice, and so we get the impression that the external situation ‘makes’ us feel the way we do. But it’s really our interpretations and thoughts about what is happening that form the basis of our feelings. This sequence can be represented in a timeline:
External Events
-> Interpretation of Events and Self-Talk
-> Feelings and Reactions"
- "The Anxiety & Phobia Workbook"
Sept. 18, 2007
"The prevention is the cure. Prevent the next resentment, irritation from penetrating you and reinforcing your illness, because if you can prevent it… that which is alive in you - that sickness - has a life that is reinforced by losing your life to the world by getting upset. Every time you have the opportunity to get upset but you let it roll around you, it starves the reinforcement of the pillar of illness. It as though the cause and effect: each time you get upset, it adds to it and then you not only have that illness but other illnesses too."
- Roy Masters
Sept. 4, 2007
"Risk taking is the ability to make decisions in the face of uncertainty of the outcomes. Reluctance to take risks drastically reduces our decision-making effectiveness. Taking moderate, calculated risks and trying new things is a prerequisite for recovery from SA/SP. Fear of risk-taking inhibits our ability to grow, develop, and achieve in all aspects of our lives. Consequently we need to reverse this thinking and become aware of how our emotions impact our thoughts and the exercise of self-control. A lot of things that seem like threats can be turned into opportunities. There’s no such thing as a riskless recovery."
- Signe A. Dayhoff, "Diagonally-Parked in a Parallel Universe – Working Through Social Anxiety"
August 1, 2006
"Many people worry over thoughts that seem out of character. Almost everyone reports having ‘crazy’ thoughts about things that are disgusting, illegal, or violent. Three things go on that make people worry about these thoughts. First, you interpret them as a sign of losing control and going crazy. Second, you feel ashamed and guilty about these thoughts. Third, you think you have to get rid of these thoughts immediately.
"Worriers of all kinds believe that their thoughts or impulses are signs that something really bad is about to happen…"
- Robert L. Leahy, "The Worry Cure"
July 18, 2007
“[A person] wants to say... 'I’ve got a mental syndrome, can you get me off of that syndrome, can you get me off of this habit?' He doesn’t think there’s a very simple cure for it, and that is, resist. It’s an enemy - a habit’s an enemy, resist.”
- Richard Rose
June 6, 2007
“You can only experience true love and real gain through patience; failing that, you experience only sin and loss. Therefore, be patient with the cruelty and treachery, the greeds and needs of others; then you can be patient with your own shortcomings. Patience cures everything. Any feeling of loss or inferiority, of becoming a ‘nothing’ while striving to be a ‘something,’ is caused by your hostile response to impatient authority.”
- Roy Masters, "How to Survive Your Parents" [Roy Masters comes from a Judeo-Christian perspective the group isn’t endorsing, but the book is full of psychological material to cultivate a more healthy relationship with your inner child]
May 22, 2007
“Most fundamental to your self-esteem is your willingness and ability to take care of yourself. This means first that you can recognize your basic needs as a human being and then do something about meeting them. Taking care of yourself also involves cultivating a relationship with that part of yourself known as the ‘inner child.’”
- Edmund J. Bourne, "The Anxiety & Phobia Workbook"
March 3, 2007
"Some Facts About Feelings
#7. Feelings are not 'right' or 'wrong.' As reactions, feelings simply exist. Fear, joy, guilt, or anger are not in and of themselves valid or invalid--you just happen to have these feelings and usually will feel better if you can express them. The perceptions or judgments you made which led to your feelings, however, may be right or wrong, valid or invalid. Be careful not to make yourself or anyone else wrong for simply having a feeling, whatever that feeling may be."
- Edmund J. Bourne, "The Anxiety & Phobia Workbook"
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| June 2006 - December 2006 |
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December 19, 2006
“Becoming assertive involves self-awareness and knowing what you want. Behind this knowledge is the belief that you have the right to ask for what you want. When you are assertive, you are conscious of your basic rights as a human being. You give yourself and your particular needs the same respect and dignity you’d give anyone else’s. Acting assertively is a way of developing self-respect and self-worth.”
- Edmund J. Bourne, "The Anxiety & Phobia Workbook"
November 16, 2006
"Worst way to handle worry #4: You Check – Over and Over:
You try to reduce your anxiety by checking to make sure that everything is OK. You think, ‘I may have forgotten something,’ ‘I may have failed to notice something,’ ‘If I can catch something early, I can prevent worse things from happening,’ and ‘I have a responsibility to check these things, since maybe I can do something about them.’ The key elements of checking are the following:
· If I check, I can reduce uncertainty.
· I cannot tolerate uncertainty.
· If I catch it early, I can prevent worse things from happening.
· I can’t rely entirely on my memory.
· I can never be too careful.
· It’s my responsibility."
- "The Worry Cure"
October 3, 2006
"The more you can tolerate uncertainty, the less worried you will be."
- "The Worry Cure"
September 12, 2006
"Giving up some control over the uncontrollable frees you to focus on any immediate problems to solve. Once you define the problem in terms of what you cannot control, however, you have a problem that cannot be solved.
“As the old saying goes, ‘Know the things that you can control and the things that you cannot control. And know the difference between the two.’ If you make the problem ‘things I cannot control’ (for example, what a stranger thinks of you), then you have a problem that cannot be solved."
- "The Worry Cure"
August 15, 2006
"Some worry is productive—for example, it’s worth thinking about having a map and a full tank of gas before a long trip. Productive worry is worry that helps you get problems solved and that leads to action that you can take right now. Unproductive worry generates a lot of what-ifs that do not lead to any concrete practical action. Unproductive worry is based on three beliefs: that (1) ‘If I have a worry, then it is important and I should dwell on it’; (2) ‘If I have a worry, then I need to identify all of the possible solutions’; and (3) ‘I cannot accept uncertainty.’"
- "The Worry Cure"
August 8, 2006
"In contrast to the naïve advice to ‘just stop worrying,’ I suggest that you worry more effectively. The important thing is to be able to determine when you should pay attention to a particular worry and when to dismiss it. Learning to worry more effectively involves three steps:
1. Distinguish productive worry from unproductive worry.
2. Deal with unproductive worry without using worry.
3. Take productive worry and turn it into problem solving as soon as possible."
- "The Worry Cure"
August 1, 2006
"Many people believe that having certain thoughts means that they are immoral, disgusting, or uniquely messed up. These thoughts are presumed to reveal something central about your character or sanity. Character and sanity, however, are not determined by your thoughts—they are determined by what you actually do. For example, if you have violent thoughts and images, the real question is whether you are acting on them. If you are not, these thoughts say nothing about your character."
- "The Worry Cure"
July 25, 2006
"There have been significant advances in the last ten years in new approaches that expand far beyond what cognitive therapists used to do. For example, we now know:
· People are actually less anxious when they are worrying.
· Intolerance of uncertainty is the most important element in worry.
· Worriers fear emotions and do not process the meaning of events because they are 'too much in their heads.'"
- "The Worry Cure"
July 18, 2006
"Worrying is second nature to you, but imagine that someone who has been raised in the jungle and knows nothing about conventional modern life approached you and asked, 'How do I go about learning how to worry?' Of course, you’ve been worrying spontaneously for years, but how would you teach someone to worry? How would you come up with a rule book for worry?"
- Robert L. Leahy, "The Worry Cure"
July 11, 2006
"People with social phobias tend to perceive social situations differently than others do. Their fear of the situation is usually based on several misperceptions that typically take on one of two forms: distortions of probability or distortions of severity."
- "Dying of Embarrassment". See Causes of Social Phobia for more on misperception and the other major maintaining causes.
July 4, 2006
"Freezing (or the more technical term, atonic immobility) is a largely involuntary, physiological response that can occur when you perceive danger. Initially, this response served to help our species evolve and survive, although currently it is largely maladaptive. In prehistoric times, the freezing response typically occurred in times of mortal danger, such as in the presence of a threatening animal. The freezing response provided time to asses the danger of the situation, and prevented impulsive actions that might provoke an attack. Immobility also provided the greatest chance at camouflage in cases where escape or aggression was impossible.
"When human beings experience this freezing response, it inhibits or prevents voluntary actions, such as movement, speech, or recall. That’s why when you are scared in a situation involving other people, you may be literally unable to talk. You might even find it difficult to remember your name or phone number! In essence, you feel paralyzed. What’s important to remember is that this response is usually of very brief duration, and will pass if you remain in the situation a little longer."
- "Dying of Embarrassment"
June 27, 2006
"Social phobia--commonly defined as performance anxiety in which the individual fears humiliation, embarrassment, or being evaluated--is quite common... social phobia has been 'overlooked' as a disorder, and I believe that mental health professionals have often looked at it as part of a general anxiety problem, lumping it together with other conditions. But social anxiety is a very specific problem. As a psychotherapist with more than thirteen years of experience in developing a program for individuals with social anxiety, I have observed that by nature, people with social anxiety are extremely resistant to getting help, so there is much about this population that has not been fully understood or studied."
- Jonathan Berent, "Beyond Shyness"
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| Why These Quotes? |
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There are two reasons:
1. When you read a book on social anxiety, it'd be nice to know whether the passage you're in the middle of reading is compact with relevant meaning or devoid of relevant meaning. So this is an attempt to list some of the (frequent) cases a passage is worthy of overanalyzation.
2. E-mailing other moderators, it turns out social anxiety groups are hard to start and the web-site is the best place for new people to find out about it. So this makes the website more valuable.
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| pittsburghSASG@gmail.com |
| You can show up without e-mailing, it's there just for further information if you want it. |
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| Social Anxiety Quote |
| July 18, 2008
"I was stumbling around with meditation and discovered that if something was bothering me and an answer to the problem occurred to me, then it stopped bothering me. So when something started bothering me I knew I was looking for a specific answer, which was the golden key to the thing."
- Jim Burns, "At Home with the Inner Self" |
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